The big day!

The due date week was the longest week of my life. This little guy was supposed to make an appearance by May 31st according to my OBGYN, at least, that is was I interpreted the due date as. I had had it. I felt I had been patient long enough. Why wasn't he here? I kept trying to anticipate going into labor at any moment. I decided to make an extra visit to the doc to see if they could get things going by stripping the membranes. My husband decided to attend that appointment with me (he usually only attended the important ones and the beginning appointments). I was feeling very anxious and had a lot of anxiety about still being pregnant. I had built up trying to get important things done before the baby came that now I was ready and available he wasn't just coming. No work, no school, graduated, baby stuff complete and now I wait. Well, turns out babies usually come when they are ready, not when mommy is ready and had it. The doc appointment started out as usual. They weighed me and took my blood pressure and my blood pressure was high. They took it again, same results. My whole pregnancy I had never had any sign of a complication, let alone high blood pressure. My doctor determined that I was far enough along at 70% effaced and dilated to a 3 that I could just be admitted to the hospital and put on pitocin.

I was in shock. Was this really happening? My husband went back to work to get his stuff and tell his boss that he it was time to have a baby. I went home to pack and get ready. It was surreal because there was no panic or pain or stress, just excitement. I called my mom to tell her it was time and she was soon on her way. An hour later we checked into the hospital.

We got settled into the delivery room around 2:00 pm. I had never been admitted to the hospital so for me to be a patient and hooked up to an IV was unsettling. The nurse put the IV in and my vein blew up. Seeing my vein balloon up completely stressed me out. This was not normal so she took it out and went and got a new nurse to do it all over again on my other arm. Once all the fluids and medicine was connected to me it was a wait and see game. The contraction was very mild and bearable for the first few hours. I was dilating  but the nurse was not satisfied with the intensity of my contraction, so they decided to break my water. Big change. I was terrified to get an epidural but I was also incapacitated from each contraction. Finally, I decided to bite the bullet after an hour of intense contractions. Turns out, the epidural is not so bad to get put in. The only problem was that the medicine was not working. After about 45 minutes of intense pain despite the epidural, the anesthesiologist came in and made the correct adjustments. Soon after I was completely pain free and numb.  The nurse came in around 10 pm to check me and I was dilated to a 7. She informed me that I would most likely not be having my son until the next day. This was dishartening for me because it was now June 1st, my birthday is June 3rd, and I wanted my son born as far before June 3rd as possible so we could celebrate individual birthdays if we wanted (silly, I know, but this was my thinking at the time). Soon after my Dad and brother came by to check in and visit. After they left the nurse came back in and by now it was a little after 11:00 pm. I told her that I thought the epidural was wearing off because I could feel pressure and that pushing the button for more medicine wasn't helping it. She casually informed me that I was fully dilated and it was time. Um, excuse me?  I had been fine sitting there completely pain free but now she wanted me to do something I was not mentally prepared to do...push.

Dr. Drewes was the first OBGYN I met with from a practice with several OBGYNs to see. I did not have an assigned doctor from that practice. So, I saw most of the doctors within that practice between the 9 months but it was Dr. Drewes who decided to admit me and since the doctor on call was busy delivering another baby, it was Dr. Drewes who was to deliver my baby. I felt it was fitting. Everything started moving along fast now since the waiting was over. My instructions were given. I needed to push when there was a contraction. Now it was all on me. I quickly became panicked and refused to push even though I could tell my son wanted out. I was completely freaked out with the idea of pushing a baby out of me and the unknown. I went off on a rant about how no one could make me push and how I wasn't ready. Everyone was trying really hard to calm me down and convince me it would be ok. The only thing that worked was to play on my stubborness. The nurse finally said that if I wanted to have this baby today then I when need to hurry because it was after 11 pm and fast approaching midnight. That was all I needed to hear. I bucked up and was completely dedicated to getting this baby out as fast as possible. A few pushes later at 11:45 pm on June 1st, 2012 a baby boy was born. 8 lbs. 11 0z, 20 in, full head of gorgous blonde hair, and perfect.

 

 

I was stunned. He was better than I could have ever dreamed he up to be and all my fears were laid to rest. I couldn't believe that he belonged to me and that I would be responsible for such a precious thing. Motherly instincts were starting to kick in now but I had programmed myself for so long on not knowing how to be a mother, because I wasn't planning on being one, that now I was one it seemed very foreign to me. I decided to embrace it and held my precious baby close to me as we enjoyed his purity.